And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. - Anais Nin
What a powerful quote this is in my life as of late. How painful and self-abusive is it to remain to tight in this bud (or closet) even when it started as a refuge. Just something to think about, for sure.
As my time here in California is coming to a bitter-sweet end, I am attempting to prepare myself mentally and emotionally for the rough journey ahead. Between moving, getting a job, and starting school there are so many changes taking place - all in a very difficult place in life. Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as I get ready for the trials and obstacles in the near future.
So today was a very nice day, indeed. I greatly enjoyed my last day out on the Smith River - it is so peaceful and enjoyable. I had a much needed conversation with a dear friend (much like a mother figure) today - thank you Roxanne. To put in words how much it means having someone to vent to and truly let out stress and emotions that have been shoved in such a fragile heart for quite some time is a difficult thing to attempt. Thank you for that, crazy lady. I can't wait to get some of your Hot Chocolate to take home!
Day 8:
Matthew,
Dearest internet friend - you're so freaking crazy! I love you to death, though I wish you'd figure yourself out. I enjoy being able to rant to you, though I wonder if you really ever read the rants that I type in mass quantities. I'm glad we've developed our friendship and I'm so glad you put up with my bullshit... but I put up with an equal amount from you. Thanks for everything, hun. Stay crazy, just not too crazy (I wonder at times, it's true!)
Love ya kid...
Chris
Well, my friends... until next time: Be kind to yourself and others!
This above all: to thine own self be true.
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